A Melbourne Match (2026)

By Shelley Coffman

I wanted to like this movie. I EXPECTED to enjoy it. But, wow, was I in for an unpleasant surprise. 

Let me start by offering a general tip to men: Unless a woman’s life is in danger or she clearly requests it, do not pick her up and carry her anywhere. If you’re a woman (or a man or a human being), and someone picks you up without your consent, don’t consider this normal behavior. Board the next tinny and be on your way before the man piles on by lying to you about his identity. Yes, this character was a charming, walking collection of red flags. If you see this in real life, run!  

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way …

Mallory Jansen is Georgie, the star of “A Melbourne Match,” and she has sparkled in other roles. Her turn as a professor in “Paging Mr. Darcy” was stellar. Jansen also wrote and executive-produced “A Melbourne Match,” and it shows her love for the Australian city she calls home.

Unfortunately, this movie also portrays Georgie, the only American character, not only as a moron, but as an occasionally hysterical goose, to use the Aussie term. Not to worry, though. All Georgie has to do, in classic Hallmark fashion, is make an inspired little speech, and everything is fixed. No therapy or meds needed for that screaming incident – just a sweet apology and all is well. 

All right, then. No need to get our grundies in a bunch. We’ll just hope for better from Mallory next time.  

Theme: Americans are thick as a brick  
About the Title: It’s the strength of this movie
Overall: Nope. That’s harsher than I want to be, but … just no.
Must-see rating: 1 out of 5.
Ending: Unrealistically happy.

How to watch (IF YOU WANT TO IN SPITE OF ALL OF THIS): Hallmark rebroadcasts its movies regularly, and they’re also available on Hallmark’s streaming service.